They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
