quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
