i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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