you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
