when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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