Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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