id be glad to
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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