No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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