Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
