two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
