Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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