Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
