dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
