More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
