i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
