I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
