i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
