school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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