I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
