yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
