Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
