During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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