I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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