whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
