Cold hands, warm shart.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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