Your tits are I can't wait for
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
