so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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