I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
