Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
