One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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