i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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