I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
