I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
