no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
