somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
