they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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