the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize