Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
