Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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