no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
