last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He felt like a one man threesome
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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