i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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