Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
