great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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