I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
