So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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