Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
