Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
