ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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