if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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